A lot of people hate the French, but I don’t. To me, they’re just too silly to hate. I mean, look at that outrageously snooty accent (and don’t tell me Pepe le Pew doesn’t crack you up), their ridiculous idea of how to ruin pancakes, their women with unshaved pitts, and of course their willingness to surrender to anyone who gives them a tough time. Indeed, hating the French is like hating the handicapped or that cousin of yours who just doesn’t seem quite right. It’s not their fault they are French; they were born that way.

Therefore, I didn’t really think much of it when I heard about one of the amendments proposed by the French government in their new gambling legislation that will take effect next year. It’s just the French government being silly again. After all, they do all kinds of silly things, such as not allowing free speech. In this case, the amendment states that once the new gambling laws take effect, all online casinos with French customers must cancel the accounts of those customers and ask them to re-register.

Yes, you read that correctly. The reason is the same as most instances where big government decides to make a decision for someone else: to make it more “fair.” You see, with the new gambling laws in France, more companies will want to start operating in France. It’s unfair to them that other online casinos already have French customers. Therefore, the casinos must drop their existing French customers and ask them to re-register, though they will not be allowed to offer any incentive to register once again with the same company. That would make them susceptible to other casinos swooping in and registering them instead. Gee, do you think lobbyists had anything to do with this amendment? Hmm…

This would be like if I opened a new gym in town and told Bally’s, LA Fitness, and all the other existing gyms that they had to get rid of all of their customers because it’s unfair that they have them and I don’t. Then, since Bally’s can’t offer them a special deal to re-sign with them, I convince them to join my gym instead. Yeah, that sounds fair to me!

Some have speculated that the amendment may be used to protect French monopolies Francaise des Jeux and Pari Mutuel Urbain, who were excited by the EU ruling that monopolies are allowed if the government deems it in the public’s best interest. Big government attacking private enterprise for its own benefit? Who saw that one coming?

* Since I wrote so many bad things about the French, let me say something good to balance it out: France, thank you for Sophie Marceau.